It was a choice that each of us made …

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“This year of restoration was all about healing and rebuilding.  It was a year of both of us saying up front, “I choose to forgive, and with God’s help, to forget.”  Either way, it was a choice that each of us made – to love unconditionally, even when it hurt - and with no guarantees of what the future would hold.  Love is always a choice, and if it really is love, it will stand through every test.”

~excerpt from Taking the Tour To Big Cedar Lodge

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Where Seeds of Love Fall

Where Seeds of Love Fall

photo by Wikipedia

The narrow sidewalk through the village is uneven and littered with disposable items of life.  The pathway narrowed even further with the occasional trees planted years ago, now uprooting the pavers around them.  The hour is now late. The bus shelters are vacant of passengers and no other pedestrians are in sight; yet the evidence of life bounces across the sound waves.  The hour is now late but the Lover is in no hurry nor concerned by potential harm.  He walks quietly and confidently along the journey, pausing as the open windows reveal where seeds of Love fall.

From the windows of the row house just a couple of streets over came bursting forth the sounds of a man and woman entrenched in verbal warfare.  The ominous and booming sounds cause the One below on the sidewalk to look up. Time has not been kind to this man and woman.  His yellowed, almost nonexistent t-shirt and faded boxer shorts were stretched around a rotund belly.  He waved a cigar in the air with animated hand motions while he bellowed at the woman.  Her house dress clung damply to her nondescript body.  She returned his verbal passion with one of her own.  She waved a glass in the air with animated hand motions while she bellowed at the man.  Today is their wedding anniversary, just a rerun of their wedding day and every day in between. 

From the first floor windows of the brownstone on the corner, One can see the man sitting at his desk, hovering over a computer monitor.  The blue glow in the room is emanating from the widescreen TV in the corner.  From the window above him, a woman is daringly clad in front of a mirror, dancing in rhythm to the music pulsing from the box on the dresser.  Six months ago, the sounds flowing from their second floor window were of passionate lovers.

In the next neighborhood, the semi-detached houses are tended with care.  The small cars are carefully parked off the street and in the drive.  Faded plastic outdoor playgrounds, balls and bikes litter the enclosed front gardens.  The father anxiously paces in the front room with the mobile phone held to his ear.  Down the corridor in the kitchen, the mother is clamoring about with pots and pans, all the while yelling upstairs to the children to finish up their schoolwork soon and to come down for dinner.  Today is their wedding anniversary, but the images of a couple bursting with anticipation and devotion for each other as they exit the chapel are far from their minds.

The little cottage in the outskirts of town is very simple.  Blooms with bright splashes of color fill the window boxes, a sharp contrast to the pale yellow paint of the home.  The lace nettings hanging in the windows flutter in the breeze, revealing the warm glow of lamplight within.  The front porch is swept clean and tidy, the chairs worn but inviting.  A phonograph is playing from atop a metal table in the corner of the porch.  The outline provided from the glow in the window reveals a couple sitting side-by-side on the porch glider, holding hands and with heads bent together as they whisper of sweet memories.  Today is their wedding anniversary, just a rerun of their wedding day and every day in between.  The images yellowed with time of a couple bursting with anticipation and devotion for each other as they exit the chapel are held dear in their hearts.

Seeds of Love are scattered but may never be received.  Where seeds fall on shallow ground, the pleasure lasts but temporarily.  Where seeds fall and the cares of life choke it down, its potential is never realized.  Where seeds fall in well-tended soil, the fruit of it multiplies 30, 60 and a 100 times over.  The Lover waits along the narrow pathway, almost unseen and unnoticed, ready to write yet another chapter in His story of love.

With a Plexiglass Smile

From the shadows, she watches them.  There is a oneness about them, an acceptance given and received.  From the constant chatter, it sounds as if there is a freedom to voice anything.  From the rolled eyes and the glares, it would be easy to think that their words are not always loving,  and in fact, rarely are. 

The beautiful one looks as though she is the one managing the circle.  The matronly one chases after the little one although the little one doesn’t wander far from her.  There’s a quiet one seemingly focused on details and arranging the bits and pieces.  How restless the young man appears with looks of boredom and nervous anticipation passing across his face as he passes in and out of the scene.  The elderly couple stay engaged with the woman who seems to be constantly distracted with taking care of others.  The men are off to the side in a boisterous exchange. 

Still within the shadows, she turns her attention to her son.   He is a beautiful child but with the knowing of one older.  He seems happy to play with his trucks alone.  Using rocks, small branches and woodchips, he has let his imagination soar and created his own little village.  The circle did greet them when they arrived and included them when the food was served.  When the silence of gorging on food changed into the noise of conversation, she had nothing to contribute; none appeared interested to include or acknowledge what she had to offer.  The circle seemed totally unaware that the two have moved off in the shadows.

The conversation of the circle momentarily dropped to a low rumble.  They didn’t mean for her to hear their words, but the voices of the circle carried across the way nonetheless.  Their probing comments and questions passed between them revealed convoluted levels of jabs, cuts, judgement and condemnation about her and her son, yet were laced with faint threads of acknowledgement that God loves everyone, even people like those two off in the shadows.

With a deep sigh, she rises to gather her son and collect his precious toys from the red dirt pile; toys were few for this lil tyke and many weeks of extra labor were invested in being able to buy them from the discount store.  Although the social event is far from drawing to a close and the convoluted conversation will increase in volume and attack when she leaves, she quietly and politely takes her leave.  Expressing appreciation for their hospitality, she bids them farewell using the excuse that it is always a challenge to get her son settled down for his night-time routine.  Sunday School is something he looks forward to all week and his excitement is hardly containable on these Saturday evenings as they prepare for the next day.  With a plexiglass smile she bids them farewell, but the tears trickling down her face as she and her son walk toward the car park are real.  Hagar’s son turns in mid stride to wave and to send a last greeting to the circle, “See you in the morning!”

The Lover watches from atop the hill, almost unseen and unnoticed,  and waits to write yet another chapter in His story of love.

I Won’t Be Letting This Go (via Transplanted)

Link

Stories of life are but Shadows of Love

… when we have to let it go, let it grow or let it flow.

I Won't Be Letting This Go The baby had Red Thai Curry this week. Asian chicken salad, ravioli and meatballs, even BBQ spareribs. He’s a burgeoning culinary adventurer. This is important to me because we also ended our nursing relationship. He’s officially weaned. Last night he had a bottle rather than his nursing and that marks the end of it. I had a hard time going to sleep. I went over in my head again why this was the right time. I cried. I felt– desolate and sad and … Read More

via Transplanted

of Another Time

The two of us were sitting in a booth in one of the 48 restaurants that is part of a chain of establishments across the Southeast.  Touted to be the Home of Authentic Dishes and Genuine Hospitality, the restaurant chain that chooses not to act like one, the decor was modern and fitting for the type of restaurant that it is.  Most probably, the same decor would be found in all of its 48 locations.  The menu was your favorite American fare with a delicious twist.  The two of us were catching up on the current events of our lives with comments here and there of what we would like to see happen in the future. 

We had greeted each other with compliments on hair, make-up, clothes and jewelry which followed a stereotypical meeting of women.  We paused in our gabbiness to chat with the server who was very attentive.  Across the way in the opposite booth, there were two other women gabbing along as well, surrounded by their five children.  In the booth behind them was a middle-aged couple sharing a meal in companionable silence.  The way they were dressed one could quickly draw the conclusion that they were bikers; indeed this proved to be a correct conclusion as we found ourselves in the car park taking our leave at the same time. 

While we were in that restaurant amidst all those details, and yet more, that were happening in the moment, the background music had played the entire time.  We were aware of it, but not focusing on it, until a particular song was played.  The song was popular in 1976 for I remember it well.  Hearing the song in 2011 mentally and emotionally reconnected me with the events of 1976 and the reason I remembered it well.  I just had to share the story with my friend sitting at the booth with me, the story of another time.  Continue reading

Within Shadows of

Insecurity

lives within shadows of 

fear, control, jealousy.

The one insecure

is the captive held.

Neediness, outbursts, tears, tantrums are the threads

of the web to lure, seduce and imprison passers-by.

The one held captive with those who are loved become prisoners

of a tangled web of pride and weakness,

feeding upon itself until all life is strangled;

its victims grasping for air, despairing of peace.

Continue reading