Minutes ago, I posted on Facebook of two encounters from today. Some would see them as random events; with the eyes of the heart, I see them as shadows of Love. I am convinced that the three people involved were in need of affirmation and assurance of meaning and purpose within our sphere of influence. Perhaps I will share here one day the details of those two encounters. This revealing story is an underlying current of the ebb and flow of me within today’s events.
There is a book and study of which I am quite fond and my appreciation grows with repeated use. I completed the study as part of a group twice, once as a participant and once as a facilitator. This time, however, I have renewed the study for personal benefit. Within the study, there is this quote: “Truth is never discovered; truth is revealed.” Today, a soul-searching truth was revealed about me. I hope you are not offended by the personal nature.
My mind was racing with and sorting through a conversation I had with a total stranger as I walked into the library. There was a significant foundation of common ground. The conversation was encouragement and affirmation for this stranger, a gift of personal recognition of which he was sorely in need. I received encouragement and affirmation simply by being at the right place at the right time with the right words. With each page of the study book, the written material seemed to confirm again and again the purpose within the “random” conversation that had just taken place with this new friend.
The study questions are quite deep and definitely will lead to uncommon vulnerability if one is willing to look into the secret places of the heart. I had come to this particular challenge in the study,
“Briefly summarize what you sense God has said to you so far in the course.”
I had a bit of a private giggle at my answer from almost a year ago, for the situation of which I had written is now null and void. I wrote boldly beside the previous response, “non-issue” and made a notation of what I had learned from the conversation from just minutes before. I wrote, “I am Debbie for a season, for such a time as this.”
“What do you sense is your greatest spiritual challenge right now?”
I wrote, “‘I am Debbie for a season, for such a time as this’ but I am wanting to be connected, grounded, established, finding my place in this world.” As I penned the words, the truth rang clearly in my heart.
- Those feelings of rejection, insecurity and insignificance that dog me from time to time and those dodgy situations that leave me needing healing are based on the unfulfilled deep desire for healthy and redemptive permanence. I long for an intimate and dynamic relationship of sacrificial love otherwise known as marriage. I want the real thing. I want to BELONG to and be INVESTED in one person whom I know will always be there, day in and day out. I want to BELONG to and be INVESTED in a long-term commitment in an established, effective ministry.
- Yet I have a gift of being “Debbie for a season, for such a time as this.” I have stories and stories to share of redemption and of Love. The stories of my life are shadows of Love and I can devote my undivided heart and undistracted time to be totally in the moment within these “random” events. Oh the stories I have been sharing with random strangers for a lifetime already, even as far back as childhood.
“The Gospels indicate that when Jesus invited Peter, Andrew, James and John to abandon their fishing careers and follow HIM, they did so immediately.”
- In other words, abandon and follow. Abandon, not because it is bad or wrong, but simply follow for now, “for such a time as this”.
Shortly after the first encounter, I was invited into another situation. This time, the conversation was at a local “English pub” with someone I’ve known for a very long time and strongly desire to leave a legacy of purpose and Love. Encouragement, affirmation and laughter were shared; a gift of personal recognition was given of which he was sorely in need. I received his trust and respect; I left with hope that one day he will value the legacy I leave behind.