The Power of Choice

“My wife died–overdose.  Her daughter was 11 and I was still so in love with her and I hoped–that no matter how many times I saw the signs, saw her playing with the chip, saw her staring out the window, saw her start to disappear–I always hoped she would choose me instead. I found her on the bathroom floor, found her there a lot of times before that only this time …

I did CPR for 40 minutes, couldn’t stop. She was cold and blue but I couldn’t stop, I wanted to die.  I wanted to die with her, but her daughter–our daughter–stayed alive.   I chose to stay alive.  And right now you haven’t used yet, so you can still make that choice.  You can choose to stay alive.  You can choose to carry this baby to term and your baby can help save the lives of other babies.  But once you put drugs into your system, you’re no longer the one making that choice. Your addiction gets to choose and your addiction will kill your baby and your addiction will sacrifice the lives of those other babies.  Then your addiction will kill you and then Sheldon will want to die and then Addison will want to die and then I will want to die too, with you.”

“Everything hurts”

“If you don’t use, the pain will pass.  I know this tunnel is long and dark but if you don’t use, the tunnel will end and the light will come back in.  If you use, the tunnel never ends.”

“Do you drink coffee?”

“I love coffee.”

“Will you get some coffee with me?”*

 

When the hurt doesn’t stop,
Love will make the difference.
When the pain pulses with every beat of the heart,
Love will make the difference.

When it seems as if you are pregnant with impossibilities and the burden that you carry drains you of hope and life,
Love will make the difference. 
When history repeats itself for years on end and the decades are strung together with the threads of betrayal and rejection,
Love will make the difference.

When words of anxiety and acts of control are the gifts of a lifetime,
Love will make the difference.
When your need to escape gives birth to an addiction unto death,
Love will make the difference.

When your presence is not needed or welcomed,
Love will make the difference.
When you presents are belittled and attacked,
Love will make the difference.

Love makes the difference,
when your pain and your hurt is quietly acknowledged and accepted
by One who understands.

Love makes a difference,
when an ear is willing to listen and the mouth speaks with passionate affirmation
by One who sees with hindsight and foresight.

Love makes a difference,
when options are given and solutions are not mandated
by One who desires to walk with you.

Love makes a difference,
when life is embraced and the soul is celebrated
by One who is bold in freedom and humble with Love.

*from transcript of a recently aired tv series, 35:46-38:32

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2 thoughts on “The Power of Choice

    • Thank you, Bonnie. There are seasons in life where it seems as if the choice to live is a moment by moment thing. But I am confident that Love will make the difference.

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