A Love Letter of Grace

When you were a baby, a toddler and then a little girl, I devoted my time and attention shaping you into my little princess.  I loved you so dearly that I wanted to create for you a fairy tale world where dreams come true, where magic happens and where evil does not exist.  I filled your room with castles and tiaras.  I bought you outfits that were precious and sweet.  I kept you close always and we became best friends.  We went everywhere together.  I was there to interpret to the outside world when you were overly shy and reticent.  I protected and provided for you in the way I have always wanted for myself.

The years of elementary school flew by too quickly and all too quickly, you established your own personality.  The castles and tiaras were not for you, nor were the outfits coordinated from head to toe.  You liked to be a bit quirky, dressing always with an element of surprise.  You grew in your own way, wanting to be included and respected by others, but not always wanting to blend in with the crowd.  When I was your age, I did not have the self-possession to be my own person.  I find myself still trying to protect and to provide for you in the way I have always wanted for myself–as if you are me.  I find myself loving you by projecting me–and protecting me.

Now you stand before me, a willowy model of grace.  Now as you stand before me, I finally realize you were sent into my life, born as my daughter, to teach me about grace.  So many years I have wasted and squandered, trying to prove that I am worthy of love and respect.  I worked hard at becoming that perfect person in the eyes of others.  My personality changed to fit whomever I was with but the goal was always the same–to gain love and respect.  I pursued acceptance by conforming to the situation and people around me.   And I have spent your lifetime loving you as if you were me.

Ahhhhh, but look at you!  How beautiful you are!  You are beginning to blossom into womanhood, in spite of all my energies, insecurities and love to mold you into a fairy tale princess.  How beautiful you are and so loveable!  Different, unique, quirky and altogether wonderful, you are exactly who you were meant to be–and no one else.

Indeed, you were sent to me as a love letter.  You were sent to me as a gift of Grace.

 

 

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