Attacks of the Heart

I wake to hear the sound of the neighbor’s truck firing up.
I wake to an attack of the heart, for the sound
serves as a reminder of mistakes of the past.

Shopping mechanically, running errands blindly, down the aisle my cart rolls.  Groups of people are all around me, families of every size and couples lovingly clinging.  All around me are daggers of attack, for these units of love serve to remind me of the one that I lost.

The phone rings again, another collector
demanding payment and restitution.  My child cries again,
another illness demanding time and attention.  All around me
are daggers of attack, yet more demands on resources I do not have.

In the mundane activities of daily living are attacks of the heart.  Visual reminders take me back to another place and time.  Words deliberately thrust and caresses deliberately withheld send messages of non-love, non-worth and non-value.  In a world of billions of people, I am a non-person. 

Attacks of the heart scar the soul.  Over and above the emotions and feelings, the daggers slice through my will and my identity.  Daily the battles continue.  Will the war ever cease?

Attacks of the heart spur the soldier to return home.  Apart from the world, deep within safety and security, the wounds are examined and the damage is assessed.  With fresh ones nestled against marks of years long ago, the balm of Gilead soothes them all.  Kneading the tender spots by hands anointed by Love and Grace, the tension falls away.  The lurking fears and niggling voices dance in the background but soon must flee when confronted with Truth.  The Kinsman Redeemer speaks with authority, banishing the past and proclaiming the future.  Lordship requires me to submit to Faith, Hope and Love.  Healing begins right where woundedness entered, branding the heart of a warrior.

A harmony of peace tickles the airwaves
while melodious notes of nature teases the senses.
Black and white words of Truth are imprinted in my vision.
Secluded yet not isolated, alone by choice, I embrace the solitude
while the drums of war beat on a distant shore.

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5 thoughts on “Attacks of the Heart

  1. Pingback: The Clarion Fissure | Shadows of Love

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