Sometimes I feel dirty, even though I am clean.
Sometimes I am out of sorts, even though everything is all right.
Sometimes I cannot relax, even though I believe in Supreme Sovereignty.
It is as if in these times that I am living inside out. The war within blinds me to Truth and to Love. The darkened thoughts against others weigh me down as if I am wallowing in a tarry pit. The irritation of blocked plans and desires grind away a tongue of grace and litter the path of my words with barbs and nails. The boulder of anxiety crushes down upon me, squashing the strength and the certainty from the Solid Rock on which I stand.
If only in these times I would truly live inside out. If only Truth and Love Who is within me and Who has taken hold of my soul were what my thoughts, my heart and my tongue obeyed. If only Truth and Love Who is within me and Who has taken hold of my soul were my strength and my shield. Then the thoughts that attack, the plans based on me and the anxiety over my powerlessness would not define me or derail me.
You see, whatever is most prevalent inside of me comes out of me when I live inside out. Whatever has a stronghold over me shapes my character, my personality and my perspective. Then when I live inside out, what is revealed about me is what is true about me.
If it is with a sound mind, unwavering, and with a courageous heart, undaunted, that I wish to live, then I must fill myself with Truth and Love. I cannot let not the war within overtake me as I live inside out. I must take every thought captive. I must allow my heart to be renewed. Then my words will be fitly spoken like apples of gold in a setting of silver.