Competing for Love

There is lack of security and my life feels like a competition.
The war rages fiercely even though the battles may be hidden.
Surreptitiously, I will fight that war; internally I refuse to give in.
Each nuance of word and each tone of voice I must analyze.
Defensively I must strategize; continuously I must rationalize.

The competition is time consuming.
It eats away at my energy and my resources.
Disgustedly, I count the cost; privately I grow bitter.
Each slight and offense have taken their toll.
Desperately I live for happiness; determinedly I will control my life.

There is peace by words I cannot define.
The description of it reads like Ancient Poetry, Divine Wisdom.
In my secret garden, I retreat to take pleasure in rest.
On the Truth of Life I feast day and night.
In the Presence of Holiness, I breathe deeply and contentedly.

Time stands still not for me; control I do not have of others.
From upward flows my strength; from inward comes my joy.
With gratitude, I count the cost; with hope, I am empowered.
Indeed trials and struggles have scarred their way into my memory.
Yet expectantly I live by faith; confidently I live because of Love. 



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