I’ve had you on my mind for many days now. The holidays have only served to remind you of your helplessness. I’ve watched as you’ve trudged up the hills of loneliness and climbed the mountains of fear. I’ve seen you tumble into the valleys of despair and mourning. Like a scratchy, thin wool blanket, depression has enveloped you into an uneasy sense of comfort and belonging.
Escapism feels good in its initial embrace but hours and days later, it proves to be a prison from which you cannot escape. Reality hits again with the harshness of what has not been attended to and then you crumble anew with the weight of guilt and the weakness of shunned health. As you look ahead into tomorrow and even at today, all seems dark and dreary without point or pleasure. Duties you carry out with diligence as always but now you move through life with an overwhelming burden of obligation.
Memories of holidays past do not make you happy nor do they make you smile. They offer no solace now that time has passed and circumstances seem dire. Even when you were deep in an environment filled with security, you could not celebrate then for it was the anticipation of losing it all that robbed you of joy and peace.
So today I have words for you that I hope you can hear. You have not been forgotten in your time of mourning and grief. Tears will flow, unexpectedly and unbidden. Some will be an overflow of good memories and some will be an expression of loss. Anger will lurk and bewilderment will grow when you think of what could have been and question why and how things came to be. Pity will knock at your heart’s door and seeds of fear will germinate in your mind. All this is to be expected and is normal for the journey you are on just remember you are not journeying alone.
There will be times that you must retreat, but retreat in order to contemplate, examine and process what you have been forced to let go of and what you must embrace. Escapism serves only to isolate you and to insulate from the pain, the pain that will still be there in varying degrees throughout your lifetime. You were born to live and now you must choose to do so instead of the passive existence you have known behind the ones you now mourn.
You have strength and character inherited from those around you. Now stand in your own strength and by your own character for you were created by a Sovereign Master and are wonderfully made to complete perfectly what you were born to do. You’ve served Him for years and now it is time to get to know Him, for He has waited for years to grow you in His Love. You are the apple of His eye and you’ve not fallen out of His favor. Your loss and grief are the altar He longs for you to come to and bow and worship Him.
Hide no longer behind the legacy left behind for you. Hide no longer behind the grief and the burdens you bear. Let your heart guide in all things born of Truth and let it soar in the presence of Your Lord. If you are going to claim Him as your Savior, then proclaim Him as your Lord and Healer. Grab hold of Him and search His Word for your comfort and your shield. Seek out the company of those with whom you can weep and you can laugh. Discover the gifts that were given to you that you have been blinded to and have been deceived into not seeing.
Circumstances have changed and the objects of love and security are no longer there. Mourn indeed for those blessings and those gifts that have been removed from your physical presence and are now waiting for you in heaven. But today and every day forward, hear my Voice and rest in my Presence. Let Me be your security and teach you about loving. Lean on Me for healing and expect to receive a passion for living.
All is not lost and you have not been deserted. I AM still with you and I AM longing for you to know me. ‘Tis true that you are in pain and you have a cross to bear. But do not forget that the purpose of that Divine Cross many years ago was so to herald in Divine Resurrection. Take up your cross and follow Me. Come to Me, you who are heavy laden and I AM here to give you rest. I AM ready, willing and able to bind up your broken heart which feels like a living death. Let Me rise again in you so that you are ready, willing and able to live again.