The neon green dial of the clock glowed in the darkened room. A dog barked in the distance. All was still in the house. The motorists had not begun heating the asphalt with urgency and speed. It was 4:30 AM. An hour when sleep is preferred yet I am awake and aware of the peace. Should I lie here waiting for slumber to return or should I rise to greet the day by dawn’s early light? What is it that I need to hear? What is it that I need to see?
And so the day begins. The lamp in the corner sheds its light across the central rooms. It is sufficient to start the coffee and microwave the oatmeal. A quick splash of water across the face and a few gulps of orange juice alerts the brain it’s time to wake up. What is it that I need to hear at this hour? What is it that I need to see by dawn’s early light?
Memories of yesterday niggled their way into consciousness. The recollection was not of the women in the beauty shop sharing a cheeky laugh over the discovery of new look or the bright eyes of the pre-teen in self-discovery of inner beauty. The recollection was not of the workers in the convenience store engaged in teasing banter as they went about the business of closing down for the evening. Their interest in the seeds and the bulbs I have sewn in my flower beds were not in the recollection either.
Memories of yesterday niggled their way into my consciousness. My last conversation from the night before echoed in dawn’s early light. Although the woman on the phone was sure to mention how beautiful the day had been, she was not happy that the chilly mornings are still requiring warmer clothes and the use of the heating unit. Lunch for today was to be at a favorite spot, though the process of how the location was chosen was disappointing and out of her control. And yet another memory from last week and another from last summer trailed into consciousness. Both were negative if not painful.
Even in the midst of peace and on the verge of rising beauty, discontent and negativity can haunt and intrude. The battle of the mind begins early. At this pre-dawn hour, what is it that I needed to hear? What is it that I needed to see?
The sun now hovers over the tree tops. The rumpled sheets and bunched pillows have been smoothed into place on the bed. The breakfast dishes are drying, waiting to be returned to the cupboard. I needed to see the rising of the sun and the stirring of creation. The universe doesn’t revolve around me, nor do I have control of it. It’s power and majesty speaks of One far more greater than I. The immensity of it all, just from my kitchen windows alone, reminds me that there is more to life and this world than the small world in which I live. The expanse of heaven is on fire with color, newness and light.
The neon green dial of the clock dims as the light of the sun dispels the darkness of the house. The pre-set alarm signalling it’s time to disengage from the comforts of bed fills the house with music. The song on the clock radio is based on words of Truth. The voices of condemnation and manipulation have lost their audience. The voices of disgruntlement fades in their reality as the Light of Truth replaces the darkness. This is what I needed to hear. This is what I needed to see by the dawn’s early light.